Social Media, Fiscal Cliffs and Isolation...in a song.

All:  So this holiday season for me has been about dealing with being far from family and working to make real connections with the lovely people in Argentina (both my work colleagues and Argentines), reading about the impending fiscal cliff, and thinking a lot about social media. 

I can't explain the last one, it just seems to be fascinating me right now - how we use social media to share good and bad news, how some people update daily musings, or share articles, or just look at other fabulous-appearing lives online.  But either way, the three collided this morning when randomly exploring the zillions of songs I have on i-tunes that I have never listened to, (as I like to call it, SHUFFLE SATURDAY)...the song below came on.  All I heard at first was there will be snacks, there will be snacks.  But then I went and found the lyrics and just found them fascinating...my comments are in parentheses...or just read the lyrics and ignore my musings, I won't hold it against you...

Oh and one last note, isn't it still one of the coolest things in the world that a song can come out of the blue and make you think or see something in a new way, or create a new link in your brain, or send you reaching out...all good things...


Andrew Bird  
Tables and Chairs

if we can call them friends then we can call them on their telephones (um, is this true anymore???)
and they won't pretend that they're too busy or that they're not alone (something we all face)
and if we can call them friends then we can call
holler at them down these hallowed halls (harder if you live all over the world as so many of us do)
just don't let the human factor fail to be a factor at all (even online, there is a human factor...send an email instead of checking a "wish happy birthday" box on facebook)

don't, don't you worry, about the atmosphere
or any sudden pressure change
cause i know
that it's starting to get warm in here
and things are starting to get strange

and did you, did you see how all of our friends were there
and they're drinking roses from the can?
and how, how i wish i, i had talked to them,
and i wish they fit into the plan

and we were tired of being mild
we were so tired of being mild
and we were tired...

i know we're going to meet some day
in the crumbled financial institutions of this land (FISCAL CLIFF!!!)
there will be tables and chairs
there'll be pony rides and dancing bears
there'll even be a band (who will be there to play on this day)
cause listen, after the fall there will be no more countries
no currencies at all, we're gonna live on our wits
we're gonna throw away survival kits,
trade butterfly-knives for adderal
and that's not all
ooh-ooh, there will be snacks there will
there will be snacks, there will be snacks.

and we were tired of being mild,
we were so tired of being mild,
and we were (we were so) tired...

so don't you,
don't you worry
about the atmosphere

Listen to the song here...

If you feel yourself getting blue over the holidays...

Holidays can be hard, especially away from home.  I read this list today during my Sunday Post Secret ritual and thought it was great advice to get through a lonely or tough day.... great enough to share with people. 

Happy Holidays wherever you are. 

 If you ever catch yourself feeling blue, as we all sometimes do from time to time, here are ten things that if you do three days in a row (I promise) will make you feel better.

1. In the morning write down five things you are grateful for.
2. Think about a random act of kindness you can do for someone that day.
3. Eat well (you know what that means); drink well (no coffee, soft drinks or alcohol).
4. Exercise hard for 20 minutes.
5. Write an old friend an email or better yet a letter.
6. Actively relax, meditate or pray or just sit quietly for 10 minutes.
7. Take a walk in the sun.
8. Watch the silliest movie you can, preferably one you have seen before and enjoyed in childhood.
9. Sleep deep and long.
10. Remember that you are loved (I promise).

Um...Business Class Rules.

I have, on occasion, flown business class.  Back before all the rules changed at the Department of State, if you flew 14 hours, you qualified for a business class ticket.  That meant my flights to and from India garnered me a seat boarding to the left on the plane instead of the right.  I never got to fly upstairs on a plane, I think that is a whole other level, but I did get to fly business twice.

The draconian measures that exist now to reduce costs for travel mean that an upgrade comes with miles only.  So I invested some time in figuring out miles and credit cards that earn points and eating only at restaurants in the points club and ordering online through websites linked from airlines.  However I am no expert, and despite traveling a lot over the last few years to Afghanistan, China and Europe, I only now am qualifying for premier status.  I am officially Silver (or gold or ruby, I am not sure which).  I have no idea what it means, except I do know that this morning when I showed up at the airport at 12:00 am to fly to El Salvador via Panama, I was upgraded! 

UPGRADED!  (Cue choir of angels)

So I am sitting in a lounge now, with dry bagels, free water and wifi, and a sense of being part of the secret club.  I also got a goodie bag with tiny-sized toothpaste and a comb.  This is the life!  I highly recommend it.  I can enjoy this status for one year and although I think the free upgrade was because I just earned this status, it does feel nicer than sitting outside a Cinnabon in the food court.  (Did I mention Panama's airport has a Cinnabon?)

Hope everyone gets to fly business or first class at least once in your life - it makes it all a lot easier.

Transitions - via the Hotel Imperial

First Breakfast not at the DFAC.

Not Kabul. 

After six weeks in Kabul, I needed a fabulous breakfast. This is what I got - at the incredible Imperial Hotel in Connaught Place.   The civility of this hotel after the chaos of Kabul was a bit jarring, but I always have needed to ease myself from one reality to another in order to manage all the change I face.

Whenever I leave a country, I need to stop somewhere else on the way, even for just a night, so I can process.  I don't think the mind was meant to switch country, time zone, language and job all in the same time - and with my job, sometimes that happens overnight.  So I have found ways over the years to make those transitions easier. 

When I left Florida to start working in Washington, D.C. at the State Department in 2001, I took the train instead of flying.  I was leaving behind my life in Gainesville, a life I loved, and a person I was crazy about. I couldn't stand the idea of just showing up in D.C. for a new job without taking a little time to ease out of Florida and into the next step.  So I took the overnight Amtrak from Florida to Virginia. It gave me 20 hours to slowly move away from what I knew into what was next.

Good place to think about what comes next.

I did the same thing when I moved from Bolivia to India in 2003. I went to Gainesville to touch base with one of my favorite places in the world (Gainesville always makes me feel more like my best self).  Then I took the train from there to start training in D.C. and think about Bolivia and what was coming next.   

 So coming out of Kabul, I like to go through India.  When I leave Buenos Aires, I like to stop in Florida and see my family. When I go back to DC, I stop in Gainesville.  I have all these places I am attached to now for various reasons, and I use them as anchors, and points along the way to help me make these crazy transitions.  And there are people who help too, people who knew me in Kabul, or India, or Gainesville, or Ft. Lauderdale, or maybe more during an important phase of my life that bridged many places.  But all of these things keep me connected.  It also makes me long for those places and people, but I focus on the connections.  Always focus on the connection.

Teatro Colon - A Reason to Visit

Gorgeous.

I had a fantastic tour of Teatro Colon.  We saw the incredible restoration as well as checking out the rehearsal room of some of the dancers.  It is an incredible building, one of the best known theaters in the world. Built in 1908, Teatro Colon had the best acoustics in the world up until the 1940s.   Prior to the 1940s.  Many of the world's best singers, dancers, and classical musicians in the world have performed here. In my nine months I have seen opera (The Merry Widow), the National Symphony Orchestra from DC (visiting from Washington on tour) and ballet (Carmen).  I hope to see many more because it is really one of the best venues in the world - and it is a serious reason to visit.

No detail left untouched.

One of the windows inside the theater.

The box seats at Teatro Colon.  National Symphony Orchestra is warming up on stage. 

Teatro Colon dance company rehearsing for an upcoming show.

Officially Worn Out of Traveling for a While

I cleaned out my wallet after returning to Buenos Aires from Kabul via India and Germany.   What I found was money from SIX different countries: 

• United Arab Emirates Dirhams
• U.S. dollars
• Euros
• Indian Rupees
• Argentine Pesos
• Afghan Afghanis
• One lone Rwandan Franc

I am ready to live with just one currency.  Please.  At least for a few months.

An Important Lesson - We Have No Control.

Before Friday I had a lovely dining room. It had a ceiling, a carpet, nice furniture, and a little bit of sun shining in through the windows.  I enjoyed sitting there, having dinner parties and dumping my stuff on the table everyday after work.

But around 5 am I heard a huge noise.  My first thought was someone had kicked my door in so I took a moment to freak out.  But then I went out to my living room to check out what happened.  This is what I found.  I just stared.  I would pay a million bucks for a video of my face at that moment.  Then I started to laugh.  Not the reaction I expected, but I have learned that when it truly is impossible to do anything, you might as well grin and bear it.

Nothing caused this.  No construction upstairs, no water damage, no earthquake, nothing. It broke the table, the chairs, put multiple holes in the wood floor and covered everything I have in a thick layer of dust.  And it just happened without any known explanation.  Kind of the way things happen in the world every single day.  
I thought to myself, well, the universe definitely has something to teach me.  Your life can be going along and then suddenly, in an instant, the sky can fall. I actually felt lucky that this lesson came in the form of a ruined dining room instead of a health scare or death of someone I love. Maybe it could have been a little less dramatic, but hey, sometimes I need to be hit over the head.  And thankfully, I wasn't under this when it fell because it probably would have seriously hurt me. 

I have been trying to make my time in Buenos Aires work for me. I had grand plans of having a great adventure here, and instead have found myself working hard just to adjust to a new country, job and lifestyle. I feel like the one thing that helped was feeling settled in my house - and waking up to the sunrise, coffee on my deck, reading on my sofa.  This is how I do the moving - I make the place I am my home.  But maybe there are other ways to feel at peace where you are.

And so, in order to teach me a lesson, the ceiling fell.  So what am I learning?   Adaptability, patience, flexibility, tolerance...and that we have NO CONTROL.




 

Why I can't go to India

This is what happens when I go to India - landing at 6 pm on September 7 and departing at 1 pm on September 8.  Somehow all of these amazing quilts, comfortable sets of pajamas, nice scarves, gorgeous tunic tops, kaftans, and a few dresses...all end up in my suitcase.

But I do L-O-V-E India. 

I also probably should admit I have a problem.  

Killing time in Kabul

I am back in Buenos Aires and killing time in my apartment, watching a lot of Big Bang Theory and enjoying having a kitchen full of my favorite food.  But I am missing all of the awesome hanging out I was able to do with the great people in Kabul.  From ordering Indian, Thai or Lebanese food, and then eating it at the DFAC (Dining Facility) by the pool with white tablecloths, or cooking outside of my hooch with my volleyball teammates Travis and Mariano, meals were the center of socializing.  Because I was in a hooch, I didn't want to be at home so I would leave the house at 6 am, go work out, stop home for a quick shower, and then be out all day, working, going to whatever activity the CLO organized, hanging out during meals, or just talking at the Firepit or beach side. 

I loved all the time we had to hang out, to talk and just ask silly questions and get to know each other.  I kept commenting that I really appreciated the time to just talk to people - we don't do that enough in the "real world."  And as you can imagine, there is so much going on in Kabul, professionally, personally, and all sorts of ways, that there is always plenty to talk about.  I guess after a few months it might get old but for six weeks it was fun.

We also organized silly activities, things you don't do outside of Kabul but there, you fill time with whatever you have on hand.  We had a big pirate themed happy hour (with hats, eye patches, and lots of Pirates booty for treats).  The whole team came out and had a great time.  Of course, the work never stops so I ended up on the blackberry much of the night, but at least I wasn't in my hooch or the office.

Back in Kabul

So things come around. I departed Afghanistan September 17, 2011 and I arrived in Argentina on November 29 after taking time to adjust to life outside of Kabul.  Then in July 2012 I was asked to come back to Kabul for a six week stint as the spokesperson again.  My boss was kind enough to support this, recognizing I needed the chance to see how it was a year later, and knowing that I loved the work I did in Kabul.  She made it happen with my front office (the Ambassador and Deputy Chief of Mission) and so I am now here in Kabul.

A lot of things are different, but, surprisingly, many things are the same.  Different?  I am now living in a hooch.  Yeah, don't love this.  There is always a weird smell and some sort of dampness I can't escape. Despite the fact that Kabul is basically highish desert, I feel like I am inside a Florida gym when I am in the hooch.  That said though, I am very thankful to have my own room and not have to share.
Same? The DFAC food.  The construction.  Helicopters overhead all day long.  Playing volleyball on my day off. And a lot of people are still here.  My first two weeks were spent saying hello to old friends.  I managed to overlap with a lot of people that arrived in my last two months so it was fun to catch up and share stories.  I was at the Duck and Cover, or sitting at the firepit or the beach, talking until pretty late.

Typical Kabul Night

The work is similar but it is a whole new team so I also spent my early days aggressively getting to know the new personalities. As the spokesperson, you have to be on good terms with every section, as well as the military and the other embassies, in order to get all the information you need.

The new team is great, especially the Deputy (who is a friend from Buenos Aires) and I think they are going to have a good year.  I am just reaching the halfway point of my TDY and am just beginning to think through the experience.  It has given me perspective on where we are going and what we did in the past two years. On a personal level, I also just feel really lucky to be back here, to see my Afghan friends, revisit the country, help contribute for a bit.  That is the best part. I plan to compare to my experience last year that I blogged about here:  http://www.weebleskabulbuttheydontfalldown.blogspot.com/

Consumables!

One of my favorite things of the overseas tour (of which I have had four and a half) is the mid-tour consumables shipment.  You arrived at post, new place - exciting! Then your 250 pound UAB (unaccompanied air baggage) arrives - yeah!  Then your HHE (Household Effects) come and you get to move in, make it fit, decorate, and generally make it a home - fun!  If you were smart, you put some of the food you love in your packout. For me, that includes Lucky Charms, Gobstoppers, Craisins, and whatever Trader Joes had on sale.  But 6 months in you realize that there are things you just can't get in your country or things that are too expensive to buy in bulk.  For Argentina it is the following:

• Cadbury Milk Chocolate (from the United States, not made overseas)
• peanut butter
• maple syrup
• spices of all kinds
• good raisins
• marshmallows
• graham crackers
• Fudgie Grahams
• brown sugar
• tortilla chips
• Kashi cereal
• Lucky Charms
• tennis balls

So thanks to my brother and Bonnie, I got to shop like crazy for a few days and fill their garage with lots of fun things (also was lots of stuff I didn't need but couldn't pass it up).   And man, was that a fun few days.  And now, I am waiting for it to arrive so I get the fun of unpacking!

Something you should do every Sunday - Postsecret

Someone sent THIS to Postsecret.com last Sunday.  I start every Sunday by reading the postcards. I imagine anyone who reads blogs probably is already aware of Post Secret, but if not, in a nutshell, people are invited to anonymously submit a postcard with a secret they have never shared - which are then posted in batches each Sunday.  This has been going on since 2004 and it has blossomed into something incredible.  Some of the secrets are funny, some will scare you straight, and sometimes you feel like you could have sent the secret yourself (surprisingly often).

So this particular secret could have been written by any number of my friends in the Foreign Service or those I have met while traveling overseas. All of these people would be classified as successful, generally happy people, with an ache that surfaces once in a while.

It is a vulnerable thing to admit that this kind of lifestyle can be very isolating and lonely.  You have new people around you whenever you land in the next country and support from your community if you are lucky, but inevitably you are starting over.  You have to build a new set of friends, a new identity, seek out people who share your interests and hobbies, fill your time for the months it takes to feel comfortable opening up to new people.  And it is all happening while the life you know back home, if you are lucky enough to be home long enough in one place to keep those connections, goes on.  And you know it goes on, without you there. 

Yes your life is happening in glamorous or exotic places, but often in another language and another culture with its own norms and rules, with the challenges that come from having to shop for groceries in a foreign language, order unfamiliar food in a restaurant, navigate streets and find your way to the doctor or a movie, and still feel like yourself amongst all things foreign.

And of course, besides the obvious benefits to this lifestyle - one thing it has given me is I think over time I have become a more full version of myself.  For me, since I carry my interests and passions with me, and don't have them collect like layers of paint on a wall, I am not defined by all the people who know how I have "always been."  I have had to spend time defining who I am so I can find those things that make me feel like me as soon as I arrive somewhere new.  That means I seek out a volleyball league, get involved in biking and hiking, take a class in something (that list ever evolves) and start cooking - a lot.  I also know that home is important to me, so I spend some of that early free time on making sure my new apartment, whether it is in India, Bolivia, or Argentina, feels like home.  Then I hope friends come to visit.  Because sharing this world with them helps me bridge that distance.

My wise friend always tells me the grass is greener and reminds me that our lives are great - and I know that. But they can also be hard and seeing someone else express that sentiment, well, it made it seem a little less so. 

Tomorrow, you might want to check out postsecret.com.

Patagonia - The Incredible Place I stayed

Which way will the wind blow.

This is my last post on the visit to Bahia Bustamante in Patagonia.  Buenos Aires is a great city, but if you aren't from a big city, well, then that is what it is.  A lot of cars and stores and restaurants. That is fun but if you are craving big sky, trees, space and fresh air, then the parks just aren't enough.  Patagonia is all of those things in overdrive.

It is incredible to be on this side of the earth.  We were staying on the Atlantic Coast and closer to Antarctica than the equator. We were so isolated from any other civilization that the Milky Way was as bright as a star. Luckily four planets were visible when we were
there and using someone's cool i-pad app, we were able to find each one.

Seaweed Warehous

Street Sign.

Everywhere you looked there were animals, or views. or wood weathered by the ocean or charming details.  Our room, Pinguino, faced the beach. When we weren't on an excursion, I would walk the beach and collect sea glass, driftwood, or a few shells.  I walked through parts of the beach that were ankle deep in shells - it must be what Florida was like hundreds of years ago.

Our hotel room.

On the Road to Bahia Bustamante

We also visited the seaweed factory that operates behind the hotel.
The food was top notch and usually one meal a day included sea weed in crepes or salad or even desert.  They had an organic garden on site and a great staff.

 It was a fantastic break from the city and I hope I see more friends down here so I have an excuse to go back!

The door into the main sitting room and dining hall.

Looking down the beach.

Sunset through my window into my bedroom.

The coastline.

The booty!

Patagonia - the views!

The views in Patagonia are neverending and fabulous.  There is the view down the road to leave the seaweed factory.   There is the view out to the Atlantic Ocean and to the bay.  There are sunsets and sunrises and incredible skies.  I have to say, there is a reason why Patagonia is so famous and beloved by travelers.

  

Visiting Patagonia - the birds!

Last month I visited Comodoro Rivadavia in Chubut Province in Patagonia.  It is a huge area of land, with a large Welsh population.  There are more than 25,000 Welsh speakers in Chubut, concentrated in the town of Trelew.  
My friend Daniel and I drove from Comodoro 180 km north to Bahia Bustamante.  It is a seaweed factory in the middle of a huge plot of land privately owned but protected as a natural area.  The best part of the trip to this remote area was the wildlife for me, a birder at heart (someone who likes to observe birds). 

The landscape was incredible - all rugged coastline, sweeping vistas, and the petrified forest...but oh, the birds.  We saw Magellan Penguins (first photo) just days before they would leave to migrate north into warmer waters.  They come to this one island to nest and lay only one or two eggs, carrying for them until they migrate together.  We also saw Rheas (basically South American ostriches), cormorants and more seabirds than I can name.  Overall, awesome. 

Mentoring Argentines in Tucuman

Tucuman. Lovely Tucuman. The Philadelphia of Argentina and the burial place of the Madison of Argentina.  That is how it was explained to me (and it confused me as well until I read a little).  You can read about it all here and here (Juan Bautista Alberdi).   What is more interesting for my few dedicated readers is how many Argentine high school and college kids came out on a rainy Monday to meet with American Fulbright scholars, talk with embassy representatives, ask questions about scholarships to study in the United States and hear experiences from studying abroad.  More than 130 kids were interested in spending two days talking about how to become a global citizen.  And we didn't even offer food - just coffee and a few medialunas.   They listened to Argentines and Americans talk about what it was like to study abroad and learned how to apply for a job.  My colleague Federico put this all together with money from Washington's alumni office, and using all of the alumni of our exchange programs to give the talks. These kinds of events are a ton of work, but they give you an unparallelled opportunity to meet with Argentines. You never know if one of the kids in the audience will decide to go to school in the United States, or remember that they met an American and we aren't "that bad."  Sometimes in the war against anti-Americanism, not that bad will do.

Checking in - The Happiness Project

You have probably all read this book already - The Happiness Project.

The book follows twelve months of the author trying to get her "happiness" house in order. I am still using my time in Argentina as a resting point, a place to figure out what is important, fine tune some things with myself (because let's face it, most of the behaviors for good or bad are set) and get ready to have a great next twenty years.  There are a ton of tools out there to help you find out how to navigate life a little easier, but the point is to find one that works for you and take the time to try it.

Good luck.

To save those of you some time who haven't read it or don't want to, here are a few key things she wrote:

The author's Twelve Commandments.
Be yourself.
Let it go.
Act the way I want to feel (fake it till you make it).
Do it now.
Be polite and be fair.
Enjoy the process.
Spend out. (I haven't finished the book so don't know what this means!)
Identify the problem.
Lighten up.
Do what ought to be done.  (I really like this one - simple but we all have an inner compass)
No calculation.
There is only love.

She also has the Secrets of Adulthood (most of which I agree with)
People don't notice our mistakes as much as you think.
It's okay to ask for help.
Most decisions don't require extensive research (I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE)
Do good, feel good.
It's important to be nice to everyone.
Bring a sweater (and umbrella, etc)
By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
Soap and water remove most stains.
Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
If you can't find something, clean up.
You can choose what you do, you can't choose what you LIKE to do. (Though I would add, you can choose to like what you do!)
Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while. (ALSO VERY SMART)
You don't have to be good at everything.
If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
Over-the-counter medications are very effective.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good (this blog is a GREAT example).
What's fun for other people may not be fun for you - and vice versa.
People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry (and everyone loves a gift). 
You can't profoundly change your children's (or partner's or colleagues) natures by nagging them or signing them up for classes.
No deposit, no return.

Vendimia 2012 - Mendoza

 So you walk over a hill in the middle of what feels like nowhere in Mendoza, a province famous for Malbec and other great wines.  Lights flash on the stage in front of you and you realize the hills are covered in people.  In front of you are 20,000 people watching a huge show.   Then you are sitting there, listening to announcements of all the various winners of Vendimia, a huge beauty pageant with all the different regions in Mendoza offering one candidate.  Now the show begins.  And goes on...and on...and on....more than 600 dancers showcasing the history of wine, and Mendoza, and basically the world. 

 Then SHE enters - best I could tell, she was WINE.  Or the QUEEN OF WINE.  Or VENDIMIA.  Or PREVIOUS WINNER OF VENDIMIA. I am not sure, but her costume was something to see.  And she was all over the stage.  On top of a giant mountain that rose out of the stage where she rose up and broke huge chains from her arms.  Observing the show wistfully from a throne.  Walking or being carried around the stage.  But always there. 

 Then the show, filled with opera and choirs and soaring music and dancing in water and fake trains and lots of acting out the history of the province of Mendoza goes silent for a moment, and then...the CONFETTI.  This is followed by selecting the queen, Wanda from La Heras.  I was in town for another two days and the TV shows were filled with experts giving the play by play on the Vendimia 2012 show.  Looks like every year they have to top the previous year.  I think they will need live animals if they want 2013 Vendimia to be any better.  I love my job.

Stage 3 - All the rest done! - Now...come visit.

All: Here are the photos from my apartment.  The only reason why I share them is to invite my friends and family to come stay.   I am so glad it is done and now I can get out and spend time in the city!