Saturday, May 5, 2012

Something you should do every Sunday - Postsecret

Someone sent THIS to Postsecret.com last Sunday.  I start every Sunday by reading the postcards. I imagine anyone who reads blogs probably is already aware of Post Secret, but if not, in a nutshell, people are invited to anonymously submit a postcard with a secret they have never shared - which are then posted in batches each Sunday.  This has been going on since 2004 and it has blossomed into something incredible.  Some of the secrets are funny, some will scare you straight, and sometimes you feel like you could have sent the secret yourself (surprisingly often).

So this particular secret could have been written by any number of my friends in the Foreign Service or those I have met while traveling overseas. All of these people would be classified as successful, generally happy people, with an ache that surfaces once in a while.

It is a vulnerable thing to admit that this kind of lifestyle can be very isolating and lonely.  You have new people around you whenever you land in the next country and support from your community if you are lucky, but inevitably you are starting over.  You have to build a new set of friends, a new identity, seek out people who share your interests and hobbies, fill your time for the months it takes to feel comfortable opening up to new people.  And it is all happening while the life you know back home, if you are lucky enough to be home long enough in one place to keep those connections, goes on.  And you know it goes on, without you there. 

Yes your life is happening in glamorous or exotic places, but often in another language and another culture with its own norms and rules, with the challenges that come from having to shop for groceries in a foreign language, order unfamiliar food in a restaurant, navigate streets and find your way to the doctor or a movie, and still feel like yourself amongst all things foreign.

And of course, besides the obvious benefits to this lifestyle - one thing it has given me is I think over time I have become a more full version of myself.  For me, since I carry my interests and passions with me, and don't have them collect like layers of paint on a wall, I am not defined by all the people who know how I have "always been."  I have had to spend time defining who I am so I can find those things that make me feel like me as soon as I arrive somewhere new.  That means I seek out a volleyball league, get involved in biking and hiking, take a class in something (that list ever evolves) and start cooking - a lot.  I also know that home is important to me, so I spend some of that early free time on making sure my new apartment, whether it is in India, Bolivia, or Argentina, feels like home.  Then I hope friends come to visit.  Because sharing this world with them helps me bridge that distance.

My wise friend always tells me the grass is greener and reminds me that our lives are great - and I know that. But they can also be hard and seeing someone else express that sentiment, well, it made it seem a little less so. 

Tomorrow, you might want to check out postsecret.com.